Are you reading this because you’re thinking about making some positive changes so your life works better? Consider this, taking the next step means you realize designing your life is serious, you can take action, and it will work.
Think about some of the challenges you currently have. Do these things happen repeatedly? Have they been around for a while? Consider these things as habits that don’t work…habits that can be replaced with behaviors that do work.
Artful Coaching focuses on your specific needs and challenges. Typically, coaching helps individuals with ADHD develop the structures, processes, and practical approaches necessary to meet the challenges of everyday life and excel in their areas of their strengths.
I started my coaching career in 1998 with a focus on coaching creative people.
Working with artists I heard that many of the challenges they were having sounded like my struggles as a person with ADHD. As I shared some of the structures and techniques that helped me stay focused I started getting more calls, not only from artists, but from people with ADHD who wanted to learn how to manage time, be organized, handle priorities and up their self esteem.
And thus was born Artful Coaching.
Have you noticed that the winter holidays are starting earlier each year?
Even as days grow shorter and colder, calendars are filling up with all kinds of festive events and obligations. While our wallets aren’t getting any fatter, marketing for the “big” winter holidays is inescapable. We’re bombarded with ads and invitations to buy, buy, BUY. A whirlwind of parties, shopping, eating, and visiting families engulfs us. It all takes an emotional toll even as they allege good times.
Most creatures practice some form of hibernation during the winter months. In contradiction to nature, we humans rev up the action. You can protect yourself from the physical and emotional stress by following these simple steps:
- Learn to say no. It’s not mandatory to:
- do everything (Try, “Oh, jeez. Looks like I’m already committed then.”)
- see everyone (The above idea can work on this one, too.)
- eat whatever is offered (Choose what you really, really want and go for small amounts.)
- If you’re experiencing the anniversary of a loss in November or December, give yourself time to grieve.
- Try going a week without the newspaper, television, or social media… okay a day. A vacation from advertising and news can make a big difference in how you feel.
But if, for whatever reason, the season gets you down…don’t be afraid to see a professional. Help is always available. If I can’t help I’ll do my best to provide qualified referrals.
“Every minute you spend in planning saves ten minutes in execution,” asserts Brian Tracy. I agree. Create a routine for the beginning and end of day planning and you’ll have lots more control over your schedule and your life.
At today’s end, look at your calendar and note what you accomplished (yay) and if there are follow up steps you can schedule. See if there are things you couldn’t complete (for any reason) and reschedule likely times for those items. If you have projects with deadlines, make sure the action items on the timeline are in place in your calendar. This will likely take five to ten minutes.
In the morning open your calendar and review. Did you receive phone calls or emails that require making changes? Will your top priorities stay on top? Are you leaving time cushions for changes that might arise? Here again, you can do this in five or ten minutes.
Do the same thing at the beginning and the end of the week. Develop this routine and be in charge of your life.
Did you know — At age 23 Oprah was fired from her first reporting job? Or that Stephen King was working as a janitor and living in a trailer when he was 24? How about this fun fact– at 28, J.K. Rowling was a single parent living on Welfare. And finally, Def Jam Records dropped Lady Gaga after three months. She went on to earn six Grammy awards and thirteen MTV Video Music awards!
Microsoft co-founder, Bill Gates famously said, “it’s fine to celebrate success, but more important are the lessons of failure.” The key word here is lessons.
Lessons mean you get to look at your intention, review what worked, what didn’t and then make adjustments. Failing at anything, from eating a big dessert three days into a new diet to writing a report that you discover is missing a paragraph only after it goes to print, means you get to learn how to make future attempts get more pleasing results.
This is lots of what we do in coaching. We shape behaviors so improvement is constant.
You bet! Numerous studies have shown that exercise not only improves cognition but also helps brain cells regenerate.
So what does this mean for you? Walking, swimming, bicycling and other forms of aerobic exercise will not only help you look and feel mighty fine, but improve your memory, processing speed and executive function now and for years to come.
You already know that positive habits and routines help you function more effectively. So scheduling regular, daily exercise…even ten minutes on a stationary bike or treadmill every morning… can boost your brain better than chugging some java and give you a better brain over time.
If you’re already going, “yeah but” followed by your lack of time or some other excuse (I mean reason) then consider parking your car farther from location destinations, taking stairs rather than elevators, or some other creative way to get the moves in.
Check out a recent Scientific American article for some eye-opening details:
Talk to me about replacing “bad” habits with ones that are beneficial.
Do you ever procrastinate on paying bills? Solutions exist.
First make a list of all your monthly bills and their general due dates. Note that some may be due weekly, while others are monthly or quarterly. Some bills will usually have due dates early in the month while others will be due later in the month. Organize your bills in the order that they need to be paid.
Pay Date versus Due Date
This is a place where lots of people screw up. Whether you pay electronically or send in a check, there is a time span between when the payment is made and when it arrives. If you pay online, your bank will usually have a note as to how many days it takes for the money to be transferred. If you put a check in the mail it could be anywhere from two days to who knows when. Scheduling pay dates a week before due dates is generally a safe bet.
If you’re income varies, have you noticed that institutions don’t like it when you try to pay a bill with money that doesn’t exist? Alerts can help with this. With online banking you can set alerts to send you an email with your balance daily or weekly. They can also let you know when a check posts, when you have a low balance threshold, and more. This is great information whether you are paying all your bills yourself or using automatic deductions to handle the job.
Finally, tips are only good ideas without implementation. So schedule a chunk of time in your calendar each week to be used for bill pay. Make it an appointment. If something that feels more urgent comes up, make sure to reschedule to a time within 24 hours.
Do any of these sound familiar?
- You have a great idea in the shower and then forget it by the time you’re dressed.
- A task you thought might take an hour actually takes three.
- You sometimes get so caught up in one thing that you’re late for something else.
- Prioritizing your schedule to address all your To Do’s feels impossible.
Solutions exist. I like things to be simple and easy to use so these three tools have passed muster. They are Aqua Notes, Time Timer, and Planner Pads.
www.myaquanotes.com says, “If you find that some of your best ideas and insights are generated in the tranquility and solitude of the shower…then AquaNotes® is for you! These waterproof notepads help you capture and preserve your ideas before they’re forgotten!” The 40 sheet, refillable pad suctions to your shower wall and even comes with matching pen.
www.timetimer.com has a line of timers, watches, and applications that helps you stay on track. Set the amount of time you want to spend on a specific task and have a bright visual of the time gradually elapsing so you know when you’re getting to the finish.
www.plannerpads.com has both paper and electronic easy-to-use systems that help you organize, prioritize, and schedule in ways that make sense.
Even the websites are user friendly. Check them out. Let me know if you start using any of them and tell me about your experience.
If you had a friend who consistently said things to you that made you feel small, things that were damaging to your self-esteem, would you maintain the relationship?
What if that so called “friend” was an ever-present voice in your head? You know, it’s the one that says things like, “what’s the use?” “why bother?” “you’ll never…,” “you’re not good enough,” “no one understands you,” “you don’t deserve…, “you should….” Sound familiar?
I bet it does.
The thing is, as limiting and disparaging as those voices are, we tend to listen to them.
What if you didn’t?
Recognize that there are any number of positive and supportive options available at any time. No need to argue with the negative voice. Just thank it for its opinion and give yourself permission to recognize that you do deserve to have, be and do what’s important to you, that you can make mistakes and still be okay, that it might take a number of attempts to get t–hings the way you want them to be and that perfection need not be necessarily be required.
One caveat—that little voice never actually goes away, but you can definitely learn to ignore it.
There’s a life changing concept I want to share with you. It’s based on a line in the 1976 movie, Network. In it, the news anchor rants to the television audience, “Things have got to change. But first, you’ve gotta get mad!… You’ve got to say, ‘I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!’”
Maybe you’re not quite mad as hell, but perhaps there are things in your life that you’re tired of, frustrated with, given up on. Maybe you think you “should” do something, but you haven’t done anything yet and you don’t have a plan.
Things don’t change just because it would be nice if they did. And you’re not necessarily going to do something differently just because it’s a good idea. But if you’re ready to take a stand for what you want to do, or be or have and commit to that…well.
John Assaraf said, “If you’re interested, you’ll do what’s convenient; if you’re committed, you’ll do whatever it takes.” Yes, change might be a bit of a challenge. So what. Lance Armstrong put it well when he said, “Pain is temporary, quitting is forever.”
So I challenge you to take a stand for yourself. Use this quote by Paul J. Meyer as your affirmation. “Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe, and enthusiastically act upon must inevitably come to pass.”
Here’s how it works. First, you imagine yourself doing, having or being what you say you want. Want it so bad that you have that commitment to do whatever it takes. Make sure you truly believe you can make that happen, and that you deserve it. Finally, create a plan and work it. Work on it every day. Get support if you need it. Do it.